Nifty Boots from Clarks

My goodness, these children grow too fast. It seems like barely a week goes by without one of them growing out of something. And the older they get, the more difficult it is to find clothes that fit their skinny waists and long legs that are appropriate for their age range.

Especially for my daughter who in age 9 clothes seems to have crossed the divide from child to tween in most clothing stores meaning a lot of the clothing is highly inappropriate for an 8 year old. Well, to be honest they’re highly inappropriate for anyone considered a tween in my opinion but that could be just me getting old. However, you can never go wrong with Clarks.

Makers of lovely shoes that last long enough for them to grow out of – something of a rarity in shoes manufacturers these days – and that aren’t all towering high heels for size 1 kids’ shoes.

I had to take the girl for a shoe fitting last week after she grew out of every single pair of shoes she owns and we came home with these beauties.

clarks daisy elf boots


The Daisy Elf boot in black for £48. A beautiful pair of suede and leather boots that has a secret compartment in the bottom of each insole complete with itty bitty doll to carry around with you.

These compartments came into their own at the Camping and Caravan show at the NEC a few days later proving to be a very handy place to store my phone number should she get lost. A friend of mine puts her daughters tuck money in hers at school – secret compartments are always handy.

Clarks were, as ever, ace. Brilliant fitting, friendly service and a great selection of shoes and boots to choose from. And the girl is thrilled with her new secret spy shoes.

Cheers Clarks!



Could You Live in a House like this?

A good friend of mine is moving house, which is one of my favourite things. I love looking at houses for sale but really can’t be doing the hassle of removal men and having to pack up all your junk only to realise when you get it to the new house that it really is junk and then chuck it out.

That and trying to settle kids in a new house and deal with post and changes to all your important documents and stuff. Bah.

But having a friend who seems to have become an expert on selling a house fast in the Leasowe area – complete with all those baking-bread-in-the-oven and having-fresh-hanging-baskets-outside type tips they tell you on those moving house programs – I’ve had the brilliant pleasure of browsing properties to send to her.

Properties like these beauties. Seriously, could you live in a house like this?

The Purple House

Where not only is every single room in the house purple…

Purple-HouseBut they appear to have a dining room in the bedroom. Or a bed in the dining room…


And they have carpeted not just the bath tub, but their sink as well.


The House of Chintz

I’d only want to live here if they were going to leave all of their chintz though…


Liverpool_House_5.jpgHiggeldy Piggeldy Stairs

Imagine climbing these drunk. Brilliant


Interior Unknown

And come on now, who wouldn’t want to go and view this house?


Although my friend and her husband seem to have done quite well in selling their house pretty fast – they used a company called Wirral Property Solutions – they are still on the hunt for their dream home. Apparently none of the ones I sent were suitable. Personally I think they are being way too fussy and the purple house of doom is just perfect for them. I’d totally go with them to check out the last one.

I told her this. She said lots of rude words. So it looks like the hunt is still on.

How to Spotify like a 5 Year Old

spotify-logo-primary-horizontal-light-background-rgbWhat happens when I want to listen to some music on Spotify:

Open Spotify app on ipad

Find band/playlist I want to listen to.

Press play



What happens when a 5 year old wants to listen to something on Spotify

Open Spotify app on the ipad

Turn volume up to highest level

Search for Minekraft

Realise it’s spelt wrong and search for Minecraft

Select the first song, listen for 5 seconds

Select the next song, listen for 5 seconds

Select the next song, listen for 5 seconds.

Go back the first song, listen for 30 seconds before starting the song again

Listen for another 30 seconds and then start again

And again

And again

And again

Get bored of that song and go to the second song on the list


Get yelled at by very unreasonable mother who for some reason is fed up of listening to the first 30 seconds of a song about mother chuffing Minecraft.

Go upstairs for a good cry and a sulk, singing said Minecraft song quietly to ones self.


5 Reasons to Never Get a Cat

Evil_cat_by_emelfiCats are twats. Moody, grumpy, miserable demanding bastards. They are basically furry toddlers that never grow up and can never be reasoned with sent to us as punishment for all the wrongs we did in our previous lives.

1. Rain. Cats hate rain. Cats also don’t like being inside. These two facts do not gel well together and cats are more than just a bit thick when it comes to meteorological issues. Yes cat, it is raining both at the front and the back door. Yes, still raining. Yup, the rain is still there. Yes, even now. No, I can’t make it stop. No, scratching at the window and meowing in a forlorn manner will not make the rain go away and NO I will not open the back door again so that you can sit and glare at the rain whilst I freeze my ass off for 10 minutes. Will you just shut the hell up?

2. Food. Cats love food. Any food, every single food item on the planet. Well, apart from the stuff you put in their dish that has been developed specifically to make sure that they get the correct balance of vitamins and nutrients that they need to stay healthy. No that stuff is shite, the good stuff is anything and everything else in your house. Especially if you left it on the counter unattended. And anything they don’t like they will just knock to the floor for the dog to eat. They are terribly magnanimous like that. Twats.

3. Cats love cat food. But only when you’ve run out of it. A normal morning will start with the cat meowing next to his bowl, me putting in overly expensive, especially developed for cats, food that he will sniff, turn to look at you in disgust and then walk away demanding to go outside instead (quite probably to visit several of the neighbours who no doubt also think he is their cat and feed him on best ham or something). A morning when you have run out of cat food however never gets past the meowing stage. Endlessly and repetitively until you get so fecked off with the noise that you drag the kids to the local shop and spend much more than anyone ever should on food for a furry twatbasket, bring it home, dish it out as he excitedly weaves his way in between your legs, jumps on the counter and gets in the way of you trying to put the stinky gunk into his bowl only to sniff it, turn up his nose and demand to go outside.

But of course its raining, so he doesn’t actually go outside but sits in the doorway for 10 minutes whilst you freeze your ass off.

4. The only place a cat is ever truly comfortable is sat on your face filling your mouth full of fur and blocking your view from whatever you were doing.

5. Unless of course you are working on the laptop and then the ONLY place worth being in the world is your keyboard. Just as you are about to hit send on that important work email you have worked hard at making sound professional. Only after it’s sent do you see the lsdjgbLSIGJBKalfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff in the middle of your otherwise perfectly crafted sentence.


Oh Gran Canaria How I Love thee

Chatting with my lovely friend over at Losing My Lemons this week, I’m getting all misty eyed about Gran Canaria again. I’ve been twice in the past 12 months and I blummin love it out there. How I’d never made it out there before last year is an utter mystery, but the flights to Gran Canaria aren’t expensive and you can get some great last-minute holiday deals.

Oh, it’s such a lovely island.

I love the sand dunes and the way you feel as though you could be stood in the middle of the desert.

gran canaria sand dunes

And the fact that at any moment you might come across a naturist in all their glory, as much of the beach is a nudist beach.

gran canaria sand dunes

I love that clothed people and nude people share the same space, and walking along the beach it’s completely normal for a naked person to casually stroll back to their towel from the sea. Any place that embraces nakedness is fine with me.

And the way parts of it look like some sort of lunar landscape.

gran canaria sand dunes

I love the mountains in the centre of the island and the way the empty, barren land turns into lush, verdant vegetation.

gran canaria mountains

And this donkey sanctuary up in the mountains is both amazing and unexpected.donkey sanctuary gran canariaIt’s a beautiful wooden structure, all made by the family that run the sanctuary and they are unbelievably friendly and welcoming.

Oh and the food of the island. The sea food, the Canarian potatoes and the meat. Plates and plates of meat fresh from the gran canaria


And I love the random little happy things that make you smile, you come across them all over the island.

20131129_135741 20131129_144535 IMG_20131124_141403

But the thing I love most, the absolutely best thing about Gran Canaria.

gran canaria


My lovely, lovely friend from the hysterical blog Losing My Lemons and her gorgeous family. I think I need to book another trip very soon.

Love you Mrs Lemons.



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