Living in a household where one member has a total of five words and a billion different hand-signals that must mean something to him, and one speaks her own special Finglish language can be problematic enough without us adults feeling the need to join in.
Never the less, lying on the sofa last night my blog reading was interrupted by the husband shouting from the kitchen.
‘I’m going to eat this last parrot, if nobody else wants it!’
I thought for a second. I must have heard wrong. ‘Your going to eat the last carrot?’ I shouted back, trying to visualise the carrot bag in the fridge -I was pretty sure there were about four or five in there.
‘Not carrot, parrot.’
‘You’re going to eat the last parrot?’
‘Parrot, with a ‘p’, not carrot?’
‘Is it okay, or do you want it?’
‘Do I want to eat a parrot?’
‘Yes, there’s only one left.’
‘Honey, what are you talking about? We don’t have any parrots’.
‘Yes we do,’ came the exasperated reply.
A moment of confused silence followed, broken by him shouting decidedly. ‘Right, I’m going to eat it then.’
A few seconds later he walked into the living room and I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye. He had something green in his hand and took a large, crunchy bite. Disgusting images of a be-headed parrot in his hand, feathers hanging from his mouth filled my head.
I looked up.
He was eating a pear.
Cue enormous sigh of relief. Because for a millisecond there, I really believed he had started snacking on exotic birds.
The Finnish for pear is päärynä, the beginning of which sounding the same as the beginning for parrot. One of those brain freeze moments which frequently have us staring astounded at each other with that look of ‘what the fuck did you just say?’ on our faces.
Exasperation is not an uncommon emotion in our household.