I Am A Stick
‘Mummy, I am a stick.’
‘Yes dear, of course you are.’
‘No, mummy! Mummy, I’m a stick!’
‘Yes dear, that’s nice.’ I mutter absent mindedly as I reach for another potato, washing it under the tap before starting to peel.
‘Mummy, look mummy.’
‘Ummm.’ I put the peeled potato down and pick up another.
‘MUMMY! I’m a stick mummy, look!’
‘Umm.’
‘Mummy!’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m a stick!’
‘Yes dear, and a very nice stick you are too,’ I say lifting my head in the direction of the noise, eyes still on the potato.
‘Mummy!’
–
‘Mummy!’
–
‘Mummy!’
–
‘MUMMY!’
-oh for Gods sake!
I grit my teeth and try to count to ten. I get to three.
‘MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY!’
‘What!?’
‘I’m a stick!’
I throw the potato and peeler in the sink and turn to face my daughter, the little vein in my forehead throbbing. ’Yes dear, you are a super stick, now leave mummy alone whilst she…oh.’
She wasn’t a stick.
She was stuck.
She’d somehow managed to wedge herself between the arm and seat of her little arm chair and was stuck in a rather awkward and uncomfortable looking position.
I bit back the urge to laugh.
What? It was funny!
I started towards her and then faltered biting my lip as an evil thought came over me. I glanced at the camera. It was tempting. She did look rather ridiculous.
‘Mummy!’
‘Yes dear, mummy’s coming.’
I left the camera on the side and went to help.
Five minutes of twisting, squeezing, under the breath swearing and the liberal application of olive oil, and my eldest was no longer a stick.
Still wish I’d got a picture of it, mind.
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
Lovely! Glad to see you had a smile in what was a difficult day yesterday!
thank you my dear! Life always gives us something to laugh at, huh?
Aw bless her. Our little ‘un has mastered the “help!” call. Unfortunately “help” covers a multitude of problems which range from “I am stuck” to “I want another biscuit”. Thank God we don’t have wolves in the UK anymore…!
You’re a better person than I am – I would’ve grabbed the camera without hesitation.
Aw, bless – that is so funny. You are right though – you should have taken a photo for posterity.
Naughty mummy for thinking about taking a photo, I’d have thought exactly the same! There’s always next time heehee!
That’s so funny!! Glad she’s no longer a stick!
Ohhh man, that is hilarious! Thank you so much for sharing that. I mean, how many times have I made the same numerous, cursory replies only to discover – even if it’s 1 out of 10 times – that my daughter really DOES need me to look and RIGHT NOW because something’s stuck or drawn on or glued. Whoops. And just pml @ Steve’s comment below Re the “help” callout being used for needing another biscuit. Hey, it’s an urgent need. I get that.
HELP, mine are often stick or stucks and I just leave them too it!
Oh, that’s fabulously funny. And you’re a better woman than I not taking a picture before helping! x
Wish you’d got that photo …
Ha ha ha. That’s just something my girl would come out with.
I would SO have got a picture. Lovely post. You’ll read this in 20 years and it’ll take you straight back to this moment.
So funny!! Could it possibly lend itself as a nickname?
It’s a blogging illness to reach for the camera when anything happens to us! But you resisted. Bravo.
P.S. It reminds me of that joke: what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
I fell into the coal bucket when I was two,head first. My Dad ran to get the camera and we have the evidence to this day!! Having experienced what you speak of I would have loved to have seen a photo. Whats the harm when there is no danger??
Jen.
Sounds like the average day in our house, only difference being I’d have grabbed the camera
i once lost tiger down the back of the sofa, then called the police. this is absolutely true. and quite shaming. it was a big sofa.
Too good, bless her ! I learnt tonight (again) to ignore toddler shouts for help at my peril; baby had whipped nappy off, shit on carpet, walked through said shit many times. At least it’s not my carpet, one good thing about house-sitting…
Too funny! And too recognisable…
Hee Hee, love those moments. I would have taken the photo so guess I am the evilest of us.
MD x
Mine would have been eaten by wolves months ago lol
It was the look in her eyes, i just couldn’t do it lol
it would have been a great one to bring out to show around at her 21st, huh?
We really are naughty
10 minutes later and she was trying to wedge herself back into the same place. i had to confiscate the chair! lol
biscuits are urgent, i agree! lol
they don’t half get themselves into some dumb places, huh?
It was tempting. Really tempting. but she looking straight at me and I just couldn’t do it.
Me too. It was hilarious!
Bless em, eh?
I know, it’s a memory that’ll stay with me that’s for sure lol
Little Miss Stick?
It is a blogging ilness, isn’t it? lol.
what’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
ha ha ha, I do wish you’d scam that picture for us lol!
It was really tempting lol
It was an emergancy! He could have been lost forever, anything could have happened to him! lol
oh no! that’s happened to me more times than i can count. I really should have learnt to start listening by now lol
ha ha ha
It was soooo tempting. But the look on her face made me stop and go and help her. she was really stuck fast. lol
Sticky or perhaps Stucky? Wouldn’t she just love that, it’s so girlie (not)
oh aye, that’d go down a storm! lol
I so would have taken a picture!
Actually would have videotaped the unsticking process
You’re right it was funny. Wish you’d taken a picture.
Kind thoughtful response:
Ahwwww bless her!!! REALLY glad she’s ok and you got to her fast enough. {{hugs}}
Actual genuine response:
I just laughed so much I pee’d a little bit. Also? Would’ve grabbed the camera in a heartbeat.
Er…{{hugs}} *snigger*
That is funny – poor little stick! M x
how why didn’t I think of that?!
Me too!
snigger
poor little stick indeed! lol
Just tagged you in the Plastic Joy Award, not sure if you have done it, I couldn’t find a search engine thingy on your blog.
I was gonna say “naughty mummy for thinking about taking a photo… But not actually doing it”.
Hey, it wasn’t a matter of life and death!
xx
lol. i do wish i has now.
Absolutely hysterically funny! Wish you'd taken a photo – all mums would understand!
ha, i wish i had too now!
I often do the same thing, “yes” my kid until I realize that I should be listening. It's inevitable, isn't it? And I can also understand your temptation to take a picture. Damn this technology. It's always calling to us.
it always happens that way, huh?
haha, i love it, shame you put the camera down. I always run for mine, unless there's immediate danger of course. This sort of thing often happens, you get annoyed and ready to pounce just as you realise they genuinely need your help after all-whoops!
I know, and then you spend the next 1/2 hour beating yourself up over it
too! Sigh. bloody kids!
Very funny! I am like you and don't listen much to the kids. But then my daughter made an African mask of me at school and it had 'a big mouth because you talk a lot' but only 'small seashells for ears because you never listen.' so that was my lightbulb moment I decided to listen more to the kiddos
oh my God! That's a bit of a shake up, huh? lol
LOL! It always seems so wrong to reach for the camera, doesn't it? Would have had the most hilarious video of an infant balancing act had I not dropped the camera the second it went horribly (and predictably) wrong…
I really does, huh? But we always kick ourselves afterwards for not doing
lol