Men
The absolutely divinely lovely Heather (I can say this cause I’ve met her) has asked me to do a little post for her while she is gallivanting across the UK drinking herself silly in every bar she can find (remember I met her). Did she tell you she was catching up with family? Hmmm….
Anyway, for those who are interested, I am also called Heather and blog over at www.eggscreamandhoney.com. If you like cake you may like my blog. If you like reading the rantings of a 40+ mother of four you will definitely like my blog. Basically, a cake and a rant and you’re there. Hope to see you sometime!
And what better subject for a good bitchfest then Men. All 40+ women MWC have plenty to discuss what it comes to that subject. In fact I think it is one of the things women of all ages share in common: how infuriating and annoying and just plain nonsensical you/they all are.
So here’s a few of things I might be gassing about if I was hanging with some female friends, eating cake and drinking coffee (or wine if it was that time of day).
Do you notice how men:
- leave the toilet seat up no matter how many times you ask them to put it down and can’t aim for the middle no matter how sober;
- wonder why their scrap of paper with that very important number on it, is no longer where he left it. That place being the well known safe-haven, the kitchen table;
- think loading the dishwasher is putting their dirty dishes in the kitchen sink which is only a few inches away from said completely empty dishwasher;
- shout down to you in the morning, “why are there no matching socks in my drawer?”;
- want a whole lot of praise for doing just one (yes just one) of the countless tasks you do very quietly every day;
- don’t think there is anything wrong with saying, “are you sure one donut isn’t enough?” before eating three themselves;
- comment on your best friends breasts and how amazingly firm they are considering you are both the same age;
- have one standard response to your bitching, “it can’t be your period again, can it?”;
- have to come and find you when the security question is your date of birth;
- always have to drive (yes always!) and when you, occasionally, do behave like a driving instructor and say “you are getting very close to that car in front” or “the lights are about to turn red slow down”.
- don’t understand the phrase “the witching hour” because they are usually in front of the TV and/or newspaper during it.
Okay, it’s not that we all don’t love our fathers, husbands and sons. But really, like cake, coffee and wine, some things we love just aren’t good for us.
Ed – and if any of the lovely (or not so, perhaps) men that read my blog wish to reply with a post of their own, I am more than happy to host it. Heather (the Notes From Lapland one).
I'm Heather, an expat Brit living in Kuusamo, northern Finland.
So very very true!! Made me laugh thanks heather 2 x
LOL….don't even want to get started because I will never finish today…
Were you on your period when you wrote this?
I used to think all those things too but by God you do not want your man who spent half the week away and forgot that he had a family turn into a house husband just because he's on an open-ended gardening leave.
After six months of spotless house and regular meals cooked for me I'm beginning to lose hope and will soon rent a sandwich board which says 'Well-trained 50-year old man for rent – failing that some-one please give him a job with lots of travel and time away from home.'
You forgot to add:
After a night in the pub with their mates they come home and leer at you, which is their idea of a seductive look, before stumbling out of their trousers and pants (but not socks) and flopping into bed where they start to paw you while breathing hot, beery fumes in your ear, again because they think this'll turn you on, though you know if you lie still for another minute they'll fall asleep.
Have you been talking to my husband by any chance?
Love it Bill!! That was my next point..
I think a house husband might send me over the edge. Mine works from home and that's bad enough.
Oh dear, I think I am a man after reading this
… well apart from the toilet aim and breast thing, which definitely do not apply….What is the witching hour anyway?
Hahaha my OH often says 'oh it's that time of the month again' when he knows that I no longer have a period. What the?
We all have our weaknesses, but I can honestly say than none of the things you list apply to me (well, maybe the driving one, no one's perfect!). I do all the cooking, most of the laundry, dishes regularly, put the seat down, etc. Oh, and no, I'm not gay, to inflict another stereotype, and do have a full-time job.
I'm shocked, Heather, you poor dear thing. What the heck are you doing with such a loutish husband? Is it because he's English?
Good to see Mr Posh is not as unique as he perhaps thinks he is lol, its good to know also that I am not the only woman who feels this way either lol.
Having a glass of wine as I giggle my way through this post. Very funny!
This is so funny! I love it! Pass the cakey buns.