In 15 years time I hope they are not still…
1. Peeing on the floor.
2. Running around the garden naked.
3. Dressing up in princess dresses and crowns with no knickers and then flashing everyone. Yes, that’s the boy too.
4. Of the mind that you can buy money from the shop to buy all the toys they want. Quite what one is supposed to buy the money with I’m not sure…bottle tops?
5. Demanding something to eat or drink every 5 minutes of their waking existence.
6. Stealing all the pots from the kitchen to play with in their bedroom.
7. Waking me up in the middle of the night.
8. Leaving their soiled clothes strewn over the house and garden where they take them off the second they get dirty or wet
9. Grow out of their clothes faster than you can get them into them.
10. Demanding everything right this instant and then getting bored with it 5 seconds later leaving you to clean up the destruction whilst they move on to the next thing.
Who am I kidding?
There’s going to be drunken peeing in wardrobe incidents, naked saunas, inappropriate clothing, no respect for money, food guzzling, under bed dirty pot hoarding, late night drunken sneaking back into the house, dirty laundry aversion, growth spurts and expensive gadgets to covert and grow bored of galore, isn’t there?
Oh Christ, this is it isn’t it? They are going to be exactly the same, just taller and inexplicably more expensive.
I wonder how one goes about moving to a kibbutz..?
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
LOL! I have considered getting rid of all the carpets in the house for 10 years but maybe that should be a permanent concern…
We can pool the kids and the Other Halves and then you and I can decamp to a luxurious Caribbean island and live the life of Riley.
Which will probably last all of 2 days before:
a) we fall out over whose turn it is to tidy up;
b) we put honey on the keyboard of one another's laptops as a prank… and then realise that it does not 'dry' like water, even when you turn the thing upside down;
c) we succomb to the natives' belief that we are lesbians who have absconded from a reality TV show and are therefore worthy of adoration merely because we have had our 15 minutes of fame on the telly.
So maybe a lifetime alternative of sticking with the kids is not so bad? Unless you really REALLY think this is a good idea, in which case let me know and I will book tickets.
LCM x
Hahaha considering that Son is 16 I can confirm that indeed all of those things still happen. Right down to waking me in the middle of the night to inform me 'I've puked in the sink'. The joy!
I'm glad you came to the realization that they pretty much stay the same, just bigger and more expensive, on your own because I really didn't want to have to be the one to break it to you.
That's it – I'm booking them into Miss Stern's Boarding School For Girls until they turn 18!
Of course, there is the small matter of the fees to contend with, but I'm sure I can come up with some kind of solution.
Anyone know how much you get for a kidney these days?
Oh you have so hit the nail on the head! The same complaints just in different forms.
Aside from waking you up in the middle of the night I do all of the above I'm 41 next month. There ain't no hope m'dear. Sorry.
I'm so pleased we don't have any!
you book the tickets, I'll start packing. Honey and lesbian liaisons I can cope with, 15 more years of picking and cleaning up after these two I'm not so sure about
Seriously? Urgh! *shudder* I do hope you told him to go and clean it up!
it is heartbreaking news, I can see why you wouldn't want to be the bearer of it.
Nah. I went back to sleep. Need my beauty sleep.
surely if you sold a kidney and couple of limbs you'd have enough. It's not like you need both your legs anyway, right?
Terrifying is what my future looks like!
Oh crap.
You have confidence they'll grow up okay then.
This is hilarious. I read this in the dentist's office and then the nurse happened to mention how kids just get more and more expensive. Pretty synchronicitous. (Like my invented word?)
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this blog, I love it! You're like the female version of Louis C.K. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA)
The more you keep ranting about your kids (in totally hilarious fashion, I might add), the more convinced I am that you wouldn't trade those little assholes for anything.
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this blog, I love it! You're like the female version of Louis C.K. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA)
The more you keep ranting about your kids (in totally hilarious fashion, I might add), the more convinced I am that you wouldn't trade those little assholes for anything.
Well thanks… and here was me thinking that maybe, just *maybe* they might get better as they get older! Zack turned 5 today, where has the time gone? It'll be 15 years further on way too soon for my liking. >_<
Well thanks… and here was me thinking that maybe, just *maybe* they might get better as they get older! Zack turned 5 today, where has the time gone? It'll be 15 years further on way too soon for my liking. >_<
LOL That gave me a chuckle! My teen is growing out of clothes fasted than he ever did! Just got him jeans for his b'day back in June — 5 weeks later and they're half mast on him now!
I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
I lived on a kibbutz hun-why do you think it's any different there?
lol
Very cool invented word, I may have to adopt it. and get you doing your blog reading at the dentists, how 21st century is that?!
that video was brilliant! thank you for posting it here, I was laughing all the way through. and you are very kind to compare me to him, if I could be as funny as he is i would be a very happy lady.
And you'll still be cleaning up the same messes! lol Happy birthday little guy!
you see, that there, that's depressing that is!
Damn it!
They might to take up log rolling! I'll join you and London City Mum in the Caribbean.
Speaking from 15 years on, yes, things are pretty much the same.;)
shit!