My Foul Mouthed Children
To all those people that gave me dirty looks in the pub garden in England in May. My child did not shout ‘Piss’ out at the top of her voice before running off to the bathroom. Well, actually she did, but she didn’t mean it. Well, that’s not true either, she was telling me she needed a wee but it’s not as bad as it sounds. Argh *covers face with hands* stop judging me!
Nor did she yesterday tell her friend that her fake tattoo is shit.
And my son did not stand in the kitchen shouting fuck, 3 days ago, over and over, either.
There’s an innocent explanation for it all. Honestly, Your Honor.
You see, it’s like this…
Pissaa (pronounced piss-ar) in Finnish means wee wee. And sometimes she gets the word wrong and says piss instead. So although she did actually shout ‘Piss’ and she did mean that she had to go, well, piss, she wasn’t actually being rude, you follow?
And the whole telling her friend her fake tattoo was shit thing was, although highly amusing, also a simple misunderstanding. She thought, in her muddled 4 year old way, that it was a plaster. And she was pointing to it and saying, in Finnish, ‘that is plaster’ except using the English word plaster instead of the Finnish one. But when she says plaster it comes out more like pasta. And the st can sounds quite like sk at times. So what actually came out of her mouth was ‘That is paska.’ Paska being shit.
Her friend didnt look too impressed, it has to be said.
As for my son, what can I say, he isn’t really an ASBO waiting to happen. He was, as he often does, simply shouting ‘me too’ over and over whilst I gave his sister something which, when said by his two year old mouth that is trying to find its way around both the English and Finnish sounds, can come out sounding like vittu, which is the Finnish for fuck.
You see, they are not foul mouthed brats, just misunderstood.
The Poster Girl For Butter Wouldn't Melt
But it still doesn’t stop the old ladies in the supermarket giving you the Paddington hard stare whilst your children run around shouting expletives at the top of their voices.
*Shakes head wearily*
I may never be able to take them out in public again.
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
Now I see. You are absolved.
This paska is hilarious.
more finnish swear words please – my teenagers have a book with all different swear words from across the world. It's nice to see they have a hobby – not
( see me shaking head constantly)
LOL! Too funny!
LOL at their book. Couldn't just be please and hello in different languages?
lol… any old excuse…
That's it, I'm moving to Finland. Then I can fcuking well say siht whenever I want and there is nothing those wnakcers can do about it. Or have I missed the point?
Lol, but I have taken notes and now I will be able to swear in Finnish
If you want me to teach you how to swear in Irish give me a shout, your kids will take aaaages to pick it up and you can swear in peace right back at them and those old ladies 
Jen
LOL!! Oh bless her
Mine did actually say 'fuck' but I told my mother in law it was 'truck'. Quite possibly couldn't tell the difference really!
ah, they are angels compared to mine, who use the whole range of foul mouthed vocabulary disappointingly often and when being cautious speak in code (i.e. c u next tuesday)… I don't know what to do about that so I don't do anything except give the evil eye.
When our eldest was 3 he loved Thomas The Tank Engine and would watch the DVDs over and over, One day he started referring to the Fucking Troller… we were very worried until we worked out he was trying to say “Fat Controller”… sigh. Still makes me giggle even now.
Fear not – it's not just your kids (although the examples are fantastic!). We were recently sat in a v. quiet building society branch waiting for my OH to finish doing some paperwork. 3yo is in the stage currently where she loves making up words – “wassawass” being the current favourite. Unfortunately, another favourite now suddenly appears to be “fakkaaa”, which she proceeded to shout at the top of her voice to the great consternation of the ladies behind the counter.
Your daughter looks like a blonde version of you – never noticed it before. So cute!
Know a little about the Finnish language made this one hilarious, to me. Mistakes I'd likely make.
Perkele! LOL
Sounds like pretty good excuses to me! My son swears all the time just like it was normal conversation. Oh shit this, oh fuck that. I've got no language screw ups to explain it away either. Shocking!!
PS your daughter reminds me so much of your sister!
She is the picture of innocence! That's not fair that normal English words are swear words in Finnish.
So here the latest ad on TV to catch Widget's eye (aged 4, that's him, not his eye, although that too… fuck it, digression…). ANYWAY, as I was saying. The latest ad is for kitchen paper with the 'hero', who comes to the rescue of idiotic women spilling liquids over their kitchen surfaces, going by the name of – wait for it – Juan Sheet.
So I now have to endure the chant of “Just one shit – that's poo, isn't it mummy?” en route to nursery and back, in front of neighbours, friends (not for much longer) and staff.
Wonder where he learnt that baaaaad word? And will you STOP looking at me.
LCM x
My son who is two really did say fucking the other day. He shouted “I can't shut this fucking door” Potty mouth I blame society.
Bit like Portuguese where the word for knives is fuckers
Haha brilliant – another language I can say fuck in
now that's a get out of jail free card if ever i heard one! x
Gosh…your life sounds like mine….its this Finnish-English mix that causes it….we do get some interesting looks over here in Essex too…Still I couldnt be prouder of my kids speaking 2 languages.