Gone Hiking
Whilst you are reading this I am struggling valiantly to pretend that the rucksack on my back doesn’t weigh the same as a small elephant and I’m actually fine despite my face being a vivid shade of puce.
‘No, no, I carry backpacks all the time, don’t worry.’
‘No it’s not uncomfortable at all, why would you think that?’
‘What? No, I often walk bent over like this, it’s really good for stretching out the spine, you should try it some time.’
‘Huh? No, I’m fine, really. I was just, erm, testing it for, erm, bounciness. Now if one of you could give me a hand back up. Oh, well, maybe if you take one arm each…that’s it, now heave!’
You see, I have new friends to impress, they are on their way over from Sweden to join me for a 5 day hike. Yes, I did say 5 days. Yes, yes, okay. You can stop laughing now.
And well, they seem rather keen on this hiking stuff, they even own a tent and detergant free soap and stuff. Unlike me who had to go begging and borrowing everything except my hiking boots – which I only own because my mother insisted on buying me a pair- and had to do a hurried practice run of putting up the tent in the kitchen last night.
Yes, in the kitchen.
What? It was raining outside.
What do you mean it might be raining on the hike?
Seriously? It can do that?
And now that my bag is all packed, so full of things to sleep on and in, ugly clothes, dried food and porridge – and I don’t even like porridge – that I can barely pick it up, let alone imagine carrying it for 16kms a day for 5 days up hill and down cliff, I think it would be fair to say that I’m feeling a little trepidation.
A touch overwhelmed and out performed before I’ve even met them.
Yes, that’s right, I’ve never met them before. Yes, I’m going to live in the woods, miles away from anywhere, for five days with a couple I’ve never met before. Umm…when you put it like that…
But no, I’m sure it’ll be fine. They don’t seem like the serial killer type.
What do you mean they never do?
Well, they are on their way as I write this so I guess there’s no backing out now, they’ve got my address and phone number and everything.
So my dear friends, until 5 days have passed, or you hear about an English girl being found in the Finnish forest bludgeoned to death with a tent pole, or, more likely, having died from starvation after falling over backwards and being stranded, turtle like, for several days, unable to lift the weight of her rucksack on the news, I shall bid you farewell.
Wish me luck.
Gulp.
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
At least you haven't fallen over backwards with it on your back – happened to a mate of mine -he put rucksack on back and then toppled over!! LOL
BNMx
Aw. You look so cute. Like it's your first day of school and you're so nervous you've decided to bring absolutely everything. All you really need is your mobile phone. Seriously. Most have GPS these days and you can order a take-out pizza from and to practically anywhere.
Good luck. Have fun.
Crikey. Good luck. I'll be thinking of you and watching the news vigilantly. But I'm sure you'll be fine.
Also, I am laughing Steve's comment, he's probably right though!
Have fun and don't forget the mozzie spray – I got eaten alive when camping (no not even hiking) in mid finland last week.
That will teach you to answer an advert in the classifieds. Good luck, I'm not laughing, honest.
No, that's not me laughing over here. I swear! Have a great time and sleep with one eye open. You know how those avid hikers can be.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *falls over and fails to get back up*
LCM x
Good luck chum – what about Santa's elves are they not around for a bit of backpack carrying in the summer season? I can't wait for the de-brief. I am envious and not all at the same time – it's a weird dichotomy!
Did you know that when Penguins fall on to their backs they can't get up again. Apparently, when the fastjets would fly over the Penguins at Port Stanley, Falklands, the penguins would look up, fall backwards and then not be able to get up again because they have funny wings. Rumour has it in the end they had to employ someone to go and pick them up when they toppled over.
It could of course be a load of hoop – but it makes me chuckle anyway….
How exciting – hope you have a fabulous time!
Good Luck! I hate any kind of camping and this sounds awfully Famous Fivish…are you bringing ginger beer?
5 DAYS?!?!?! OMG. I'd be lucky to hike 5 HOURS. I'd laugh someone right out of my house if they suggested a 5 days hike to me. I'd rather be dipped in foul smelling substances and then Kentucky Fried than hike for 5 days. You are one brave soul, and I admire you.:)
To be honest, that sounds like my idea of hell but I'm sure you'll make something positive of the experience. Good luck with the elephant on your back – at least you won't get a dowager's hump
Too funny Heather. You know I think you're nuts, but I'm sure you'll have a brilliant time. Are you hanging the kids' on the clothesrack whilst you're gone?
WOAH!!!!!!
I've always liked the idea of hiking… but 5 days – in Lapland!? with THAT on your back!?
Hats off to ya dear!! hats off!! (and I bet you wish that bag was too………..)
I think I was carrying less than that when I went interrailing for a month. Granted we used youth hostels and not tents, but even so! Have you been then? Was it good?
For future trips you might want to lighten up a bit – a visit to http://www.hikinginfinland.com should help to get the weight on your back down and the enjoyment of backpacking up =)