Me Time
My son is standing on the front porch screaming and hammering on the door.
‘Mummy! Mummy’ Mummy!’
I’m ignoring him.
I’ve had enough. I just can’t take anymore. Better he stands there and does it than whilst clinging to my legs. Again.
I can’t sit down in our house this month, not without a small boy climbing on me, pulling at me, knees and elbows ending up slamming into my crotch or face as I become his own personal playground. I’m sick of it. I can’t stand up without him clinging to my legs, trying to climb up me like a ladder. I can’t do anything without him trailing after me from room to room, shutting doors behind me, locking me in rooms and then trying to scale me again like some ever moving mountain.
It doesn’t mater how much time I spend sat with him, how much I let him climb me, how much time I spend cuddling him, it is NEVER enough. But I’ve had enough. I’ve had it right up to my fecking forehead. I don’t want to be a climbing frame, my ears dont want to hear the constant drone of muummy mummy mummy.
His constant need for attention is draining, wearing, frustrating. His sudden inability to open the front door on his own so I have to come every time he shuts himself out (about once a minute when not otherwise engaged in shadowing me or scaling my legs) is grating. His whiny, whingy tone as he demands my attention again and again is beginning to have the same effect as nails being dragged down a blackboard
Get out more? We’ve gotten out every sodding day this week, everyday has started out like this, every morning the screaming, whining and moaning. Everyday I’ve taken them somewhere, done something. I’m sick of getting out, I just want to stay home for a day, a peaceful day of getting stuff done.
He has toys, he has a garden full of stuff, he has a sister to play with, cartoons to watch, books to read, colouring to do and endless supply of stuff to play with. But nothing is interesting unless mummy is doing it with him.
I’m sick of building lego towers, of pushing swings, of colouring, stciking and painting. I’m sick of playing, I have things to do, I’m not a child, I don’t want to play lets see who can jump the furthest again. I have things I need to do, things I want to do. I have a brain that feels like it is turning to mush and dripping from my ears.
I don’t want to do anymore. I reached my limit about a week ago.
I just want to be. To be alone. To not have to hear anyone, not have to think about anyone else, to not have to constantly bite back my frustration at the noise, the mess, the never getting anything done and sit once again with a small wriggling person whilst he pulls and scratches and kicks in his climbing antics.
I can’t do it anymore.
I need some time out.
I need, sorry Dara, some me time.
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
Oh I so know where you are right now. Our youngest used to be like that.. daddy this, daddy that, always daddy, And it was probably my fault for not saying no enough in the first place – he never plagued his mum as much. Thankfully he's grown out of it. Nursery has helped plus me taking a few hours each day to myself. Left to his own devices he has, well, got used to being left to his own devices and plays and watches TV quite happily. Either Karen and I are always nearby in case of trouble but we have some me time now, It's tough at first – as I'm sure you know – but you do get there in the end. Sending hugs.
Thanks Steve. It just feels so endless when it's happening doesn't it? I'm sure my eldest wasn't this bad, or maybe she was and my memory is just being selective. On Tuesday I'm escaping for 5 days to the forest to go hiking with friends, what a relief it's going to feel!
I completely understand. Completely! It is relentless isn't it. I don't know what to suggest. Send them to grandmas??
Oh god I totally understand. TOTALLY. Sending you lots of *hugs* and chocolate.
Zack still hates being left on his own, even now at 5 yrs old. Can you tell how GLAD I am that he's starting school in 10 days??
The boys were at their dad's for a week. Just over 24 hrs later and I'm sick of the constant whining already. Ick.
oh you poor thing. It's horrible when they go through these phases. But remember it is just a phase!!
Oh god I remember that. It's horrible – and I don't care how bad that sounds – it is horrible to have no physical or mental space whatsoever all day. I realise this doesn't help you right this minute, but it does get better. I read on your comment on Dara's post that you're going hiking with friends soon. I hope you have a really bloody good time. x
I could relate to every. single. word. Our children are the same ages so I feel you pain.Ohhhhh, do I feel it. Enjoy your hiking trip!
Right here in this place with you! I'm at breaking point too, and if M gets right in my face sniffing me with her (albeitly adorable little) nose while pushing elbows into my boobs and simultanously squeezing my tummy fat with her other hand I'm going to crack.
Oh dear, you poor love. I can SO sympathise with you. I have one of those models here as well *gnnhhhhhh* And no, getting out often doesn't make it better… it makes it worse! For both of you! No, you really need some space, away from any chance of that whiney nagging relentless voice and those clawing hands and restless legs and aaaaaargh. Feel for you xx
Oh Gawd, I could have written that myself, bless ya I feel your pain. No words of wisdom I'm afraid but I do know how you feel Xxxx
Damn you! You used the cringe-phrase!
Okay, first off I completely understand.
And you deserve that time. And you deserve to get away. I've had more time to think about it and I stated everything completely wrong.
The reason I hate the term “me time” is because it belittles us. It makes us sound like when we're moms we are moms and moms alone. Time away is great. But going out to get groceries or get a haircut is not “me time.” It does nothing to develop your sense of self. Going hiking for five days certainly has the potential to be “me time.” If people used the phrase to mean things like that I'd be happy with it. When I sell my first feature article I plan to rent a cabin for 2-3 days and just get some novel outlines done and teach myself to crochet again.
But the phrase “me time” also belittles your relationship with your spouse and children. Because everything you do, even if it's for purely selfish reasons like you enjoying hiking and are afraid you'll beat the children if you spend one more moment in their presence is still involved in your relationship. Do you think during the hike you might at one point think to yourself “gosh when the kids are older I can take them here?”
I don't hate the act, just the GD phrase.
Oh Gawd, I could have written that myself, bless ya I feel your pain. No words of wisdom I'm afraid but I do know how you feel Xxxx
Sorry dara-but am with you you Heather on this one.
We've all been there. It's often an age-related thing and will pass… eventually it will pass! Hear this and take a little comfort. When my kids were like this, I ended up locking myself in the loo for some peace and quiet…
*hugs* That's about all I can offer, I am advice free I'm afraid! There's some lovely helpful comments that came before me though!