WTF Moments
One of the often overlooked side effect of having kids is getting to form sentences that would otherwise never have been called into being. Some days I wonder in what none child rearing situation I would ever have had the chance to say some of the things that come out of my mouth.
1. Take that cat out of the oven!
2. Toothbrushes do not go up bottoms!
3. No you can’t fly your kite in your wardrobe.
4. Why are your knickers in the middle of the yard?
5. I can smell poo. Have you had a poo on the floor?
6. I’m not going to kiss your feet until you’ve washed them.
7. Will you stop hitting me in the head with that dinasour.
8. Get that goat out of the car!
9. Why am I the only person in this house with any clothes on?
10. Why are you wearing my kickers on your head?
Come to think about of it, I don’t think I really want to dwel on it that much…
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
LMAO. Your sentences are way funnier then mine even though I have 5 kids.
I love this soooo much. Your family life sounds very funny
I used to say number 9 a lot at parties.
Very funny; ‘I’m not kissing your feet until you wash them,’ is my favourite. It could have so many meanings.
Helena xx
LMAO, especially at number 5. We’ve had similar conversations, although not about goats.
8 Is a classic, I will admit. 9 means your doing it wrong. In any situation.
Any one of those (except maybe the goat one!) coudl have come out of my mouth. Along with washing machines are not places to play in and no JJ you can not go to school as a fairy princess, even tho pink is yoru favourite colour (to my 5 yo boy!). Mich x
Just said to my daughter yesterday….’stop playing with your toochie???’
I’m currently dealing with potties for hats instead as for thrones! Lovely.
Concerned about that goat…goats are notoriously dangerous drivers.
Ha ha ha. I have never to say half of those but I bet that Noelie will get me to say some similar ones, she promises to be a handful! X
Howling with laugher. What on earth…? No probably best not ask. And they say being at home and raising kids can be boring!
Ha ha. Fantastic!!
Très droll.
(No. 1 has echoes of the cat bin woman who’s in the news at the moment.)
Ah… the joy of motherhood! I can understand you saving the cat from a good roasting but why can’t they fly their kites in the wardrobe you old spoilsport…
Are 4 and 9 linked in any way?
Thanks for cheering up a piddly morning here.
Children make us say (and do) things that we thought we would never, ever do!
Oh god yes… I know these oh so well!
Haha! I would love to say that we’ve all been there but I can HONESTLY say that none of those sentences have come out of my mouth
Hm.. for me, one thing I’d never anticipated was
“Go and play. I’m busy blogging.”
oohh, I can often be heard telling my youngest ‘Noooooooo, the toilet brush is NOT a toothbrush/hairbrush’ sigh. This would make a good meme Heather
Jen
Hahahahaaha! This is awesome and makes me feel so much less alone (she said as she yelled at her children to stop trying to bathe their action figures in the toilet…)
Hilarious!
lol I can relate. I can remember when my son was a toddler telling him to get his face out of the cat’s butt and also when he was little and still in diapers telling him not to wipe poop on the wall. *shaking my head*
It’s true that when you’re a parent, you find yourself saying things you never thought you’d have to say to another human being.
My favourite: Don’t eat the cherrios from your diaper!
My constant riff: Get your penis out of my face. Get your bum out of my face. Get your vagina out of my face. Get your dirty diaper out of my face.
My daily exclamation: How the heck did you make that color poo!
My daily complaint: Alright, who spilled the milk? No, I don’t believe Daddy poured milk all over the floor before he left for work.
The daily mystery: Where’s your diaper? Did you hide it under the couch again?
The try not to laugh moment: Pee stays IN the potty, not on your head.
The frustration of communication: Stop washing your brother’s hair. I wash your brothers hair. Okay, Daddy too. No, not Daddy’s hair! Daddy washes his hair too. No! Your brothers hair. Oh…. never mind. Stop washing your brothers hair.
Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure this is a blog post for me …. mind reading it all over again on my blog?
I’ve said number 5! And I don’t have any little ones yet, mine comes from cats! Naughty little cats pooing anywhere they feel like it, including but not limited to:- the kitchen floor, the bath, by the TV, in front of the litter tray!!!