What Was Your Worst Christmas Present?
This is a sponsored post.
That doesn’t mean it’s not fecking awesome, hilarious and all round brilliant, mind!
Now that the smoke has cleared, the wreckage been mostly cleaned away and the kids back at school (or at the very least t’husbands back at work), we have time to sit and survey the extent of the damage that Christmas has wreaked. Not just on our wallets, but our wardrobes and homes as well.
The horrors inflicted upon us like those hideous Christmas outfits that someone always insists on buying.
Credit: Awkward Family Photos
The God-awful candle that you will have to, at the very least, pull out of the cupboard every time aunty Marge comes to visit.
Credit: Failblog
And let’s not forget the delightful ornaments family and friends think would look wonderful in your living room. Where do they think you live? Room 101?
Etsy
Etsy
What is wrong with the people that buy this shit? Haven’t they ever heard of the internet? Don’t they realise how easy it is to simply type in gift ideas for her and find something really awesome?
Then again, not being the best of present buyers myself, perhaps it’s the makers not the buyers we ought to be blaming.
I just thank my lucky stars these weren’t my Christmas presents. On the whole I didn’t have too terrible a year on the old present front, the worst things I got were a saucepan and a terrible old-lady jumper that I would post a photo of me wearing if it wasn’t for fear of upsetting the person that sent it to me.
What? No, of course I don’t mean the jumper you sent me. That was lovely. This is another jumper entirely. Ahem.
What I do know however is that I shall be eternally grateful that Christmas is only once a year. Thank god we don’t receive presents from obscure relatives for other religious festivals like Easter or Valentines Day! And t’husband, if you’re reading this, come valentines day, do search the internet for gifts for her, don’t even consider buying me something that looks like this:
Etsy
*shakes head in bewilderment*
So, what was your worst present this year?
I'm Heather, an ex expat, now back in blighty and living in Lancashire. Which is just like Lapland only less snowy...and stuff.
Presents pretty good on the whole. My least favourite was a box of Ferrero Rocher. I mean, pleeeeease.
Swap you your Ferrero Rochers for a crappy old lady jumper?
Unwashed?
Suppose I could launder it for you if you’re going to be fusy
Best sponsored post ever. I love that you put ‘sponsored post’ at the top, as do I, to give the punters the option of not reading. I looked at the pictures. I wonder if you can still get those candles…?
the candles are ace, aren’t they? As are the weird ‘card cat head on furry body’ decoration thingys. Somebody actually spent time designing and making those!
Okay firstly I love those poodle earrings and those kitten tree ornaments and no I am not being sarcastic. As I may have explained to you…you are still a youngun but when you hit 40 like me and Misssym you get afflicted by a disease called Mumitis (it’s in Cocktails at Naptime) where you are inexplicably drawn to craft shops and crochet needles. It’s hormonal and there IS NO CURE. So wait a few years and see what happens…
As for christmas presents I only got one – a Keurig coffee machine where you put those pods in and it fulfilled all my fantasies and then some but if you want to send me an interflora I’m fine with that too
You scare me. Mostly because I’m worried you might be right and I’ll suddenly find myself crocheting novelty earrings in a handful of years.
Don’t worry, it doesn’t happen to everyone. I still reach for the dark glasses at the sign of a craft shop. Or am I just pretending I’m not 49? The worst thing about getting older is not getting presents at all – unless you train your children properly. You have been warned…
I did rather well this year altho’ in recent years I’ve been given a $4 pack of paper napkins with the price still on them and a pot pourri thing that was so stinky even the kids complained about it!
oh wow, a pack of paper napkins? Somebody was really spoiling you, weren’t they?
I’ll have Steve’s Ferrero Rocher. And still cannot get over the candles.
I actually really want those candles now
I don’t think the problem in the first picture is the godawful clothes. I find the plastic expressions and the make-up far more disturbing. It reminds me of those please-mr-paedophile-please-rape-our-children beauty contests for small children.
and the makeup they all seem to be wearing, and they way they’ve all obviously been taught to pose, and the brittle bottle blonde hair and well, just about everything really.
I didn’t get any awful presents this year but I did get one that made me say “WTH?” It was one of those fabric china storage sets. What, I ask you, am I supposed to do with that? We tend to actually use the plates we have.
A fabric thing to store your plates in? How many plates do they think you have? Or maybe they were trying to drop you a hint ‘time you retired those god-awful plates you keep using and get a nice new set’?
My worst gift was some candles very like those – only mine were really ugly angels. They looked like miniature stone angels from the Doctor Who series. They had scary faces. So I did what I was supposed to do with them – and burnt them all at once just to get rid of them! My sister bought them – she loves anything to do with angels, I just wish she would realise that I don’t share that love.
We got a hideous ceramic bear holding a bowl. The bear is very scary and seems to have man-boobs, unless it’s a lady bear in which case, boobs. It was a present from my husband’s partner at work as he says husband looks like the bear in the mornings before the start of surgery. I’ve told hubby to take the bloody thing to work as, on a positive note, it might scare his patients away and he’ll be more cheerful.
The worst present(s) I got were from my partner-two horrifically bad camel jumpers from H & M. Naturally, as soon as he was away back to work, I was straight down there to return them (after rifling thru his pockets the night before when he was in the bathroom, to find the receipt!!).
Found out they had been in the bloody sale too-I only got a total of 200sek back!! (About 20 quid in britain).
Cheap bastard!!!
(of course the beautiful jewellery I had kindly put in our watch-list for himon Ebay, went unpurchased. Grrr.
Haha awesomeness! Is it wrong that I want to buy one of those candles that looks like a dildo?
My worse present this year was a tube of lavender bath salts. I’m 37 FFS. I can always rely on my MIL to buy me shit.