The curious incident of the slug in the night

It seems we have a stowaway. A non-rent-paying tenant. A squatter of the slimiest nature.

Each morning for the last few weeks I’ve found a trail of slug slime on the carpet around the patio doors. A bright, fat, shiny trail of goo seeming to appear out of nowhere, circle whichever toy has been left lying in the area and then disappearing again. Leaving no clue as to where, or from whence the offender has travelled.

I’ve checked the curtains, corners of the room and under and behind furniture, gingerly moving chairs and cupboards away from walls ready to squeal at the mere sight of a our oozing interloper. Crawling on my hands and knees and peering tentatively underneath things. I even got a torch out at one point. Whether it was to help me find or as defence against the slug I’m not really sure, but no sign of the slithering insect is to be found.

It is clearly a master of hide and seek, or disguise, or something.

And randy.

Each morning the slime trails are fatter and juicier around the odd toy left lying near the doors. Lord only knows what horrific fate this poor hexbug had to endure throughout the night.

slug attacks hexbug

And the mess around my daughter’s Cinderella figurine was too disturbing to even photograph (okay, so I may have¬†accidentally¬†deleted that photo) but needless to say, it doesn’t look good for the slug, or Cinderella. Poor girl. I doubt she’ll ever be the same again.

What to do?

How does one dispose of a slug one can not find? How does one protect the innocent toys of the household from its clearly predator-like behaviour?

And would one of you please come and sort it out for me cause I don’t know what I hate most: the slimy, squishy slitherer sneaking around my house during the night or the horrible, high pitched squeal the threat of its presence brings out of me.

Even the picture of the hexbug above makes me shudder.

Honestly, I haven’t felt this much like a stereotype since I hung fluffy pink dice in my silver Fiesta for a week for a dare.

17 Comments on The curious incident of the slug in the night

  1. Dumdad
    May 3, 2012 at 6:49 pm (2 years ago)

    One slug? You big girl’s blouse!

    We have gangs, nay armies, of slugs appear from nowhere, slither down our backyard walls, up five stone steps to where our cat’s food and water bowls are.

    And then the slugs invade her food bowl. The doorstep is sometimes writhing with the vile creatures. It doesn’t seem to faze the cat but these beasties are quite ghastly looking and big.

    Last time I asked if they’d like some crisps to go with the cat’s food.

    The slug leader inquired: “What flavour?”

    “Salted,” I replied.

    Reply
    • Heather
      May 3, 2012 at 7:16 pm (2 years ago)

      and there was me thinking Paris would be a nice destination. Urgh.

      Reply
      • Dumdad
        May 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm (2 years ago)

        We eat snails here but the thought of eating slugs…..

        Reply
        • Heather
          May 3, 2012 at 7:18 pm (2 years ago)

          *pukes a little in mouth*

          Reply
  2. @goonerjamie
    May 3, 2012 at 6:51 pm (2 years ago)

    I had this once (the problem, not the slug sex). I ended up putting a trail of salt around the skirting boards near the incidents – that stopped the slimy slug and his sexual shenanigans.

    Reply
    • Heather
      May 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm (2 years ago)

      half of me wants to copy. the other half wants to set up some sort of infra red webcam to see exactly what he’s up to.

      Reply
      • @goonerjamie
        May 3, 2012 at 7:21 pm (2 years ago)

        Slug porn? You really are a deviant

        Reply
        • Heather
          May 3, 2012 at 7:29 pm (2 years ago)

          Tsk

          Reply
          • Cate Pearce
            May 16, 2012 at 10:47 am (2 years ago)

            Gobsmacked.

  3. Steve
    May 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm (2 years ago)

    Hexbug? Sexbug more like! You could always leave it switched on in the hope the poor slug dies of (h)exhaustion…

    Reply
    • Heather
      May 3, 2012 at 7:18 pm (2 years ago)

      boom tish!

      Reply
  4. Bettythewoodfairy
    May 3, 2012 at 7:27 pm (2 years ago)

    You can either kill him by putting down salt everywhere and he will eventually touch it and melt to death, or, you could leave a saucer of beer and, depending on how much he gets, he will either fall into the saucer drunk and stupid or, fall into the saucer and die. Simple – dead slug or drunk slug, your choice! Third choice is to get a bird for a pet and let it out at night so he eats the slug.

    Reply
    • Heather
      May 3, 2012 at 7:30 pm (2 years ago)

      one of the good things I’ve found about having a slug is that the slime trail does hoover up, unlike bird pooh. So I think the 3rd option is out. I rather like the 2nd one. Will give it a whirl – something wrong about causing the thing to melt to death

      Reply
  5. Jane @ northernmum
    May 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm (2 years ago)

    welcome back!

    and icky!

    But salt causes them to implode – highly recommend it x

    Reply
  6. Cookie Jar
    May 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm (2 years ago)

    His partner is somewhere in my kitchen. I think he is in love with the mat at the back door.

    Reply
  7. Nana GoGo
    May 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm (2 years ago)

    Hope it’s not one of them African Land Snails or you’re in trouble, Missus! Nice to ‘see’ you.

    Reply
  8. Marylin
    May 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm (2 years ago)

    Salt. Definitely salt! ;)

    Reply

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