I don’t geddit

kids jokes

Driving to school the kids start telling each other jokes in the back of the car.

Girl: Knock knock.
Boy: Who’s there?
Girl: Stinky pants. Followed by much giggling.
Boy: Stinky pants who? Barely able to get his words out so fierce is his attempt to control his laughter.
Girl: Stinky pants bum bum head
Hysterical laughter ensues.

Boy: Why did the car run into the other car?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cause he wanted to push the car out of the way and bash into all the houses.
Even more hysterical laughter.

Pah, kids these days. They don’t know what a proper joke is, I think to myself.

Me: Knock knock
Girl: Who’s there?
Me: Dr
Girl: Dr who?
Me: How did you know?
Girl: Know what?
Me: That it was Dr Who.
Girl: I didn’t.
Me: But you said Dr Who. That’s the joke see? Dr Who? I implore, getting slightly more desperate with every mention of the Time Lord.

The car fills with deathly silence. I steal myself decide to give it another go.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Girl: Why?
Me: To get to the other side.

Silence. And then…

Girl: No mummy, you don’t geddit’. We’re telling jokes.

Sigh.

19 Comments on I don’t geddit

  1. Midlife Singlemum
    November 17, 2012 at 8:15 pm (2 years ago)

    Knock Knock – it’s a process. You start off like the kids, eventually you develop a great sense of sophisticated humour like us, and round about the age of 60 you slip into Grandpa humour and sound like your dad (cringe). Don’t fight it, it’s genetic.

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm (2 years ago)

      Sophistimicated oust like us? lord help them!

      Reply
  2. Mrs Teepot
    November 18, 2012 at 1:13 am (2 years ago)

    Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear!

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm (2 years ago)

      I know, right?

      Reply
  3. Gigi
    November 18, 2012 at 4:04 am (2 years ago)

    Oh, I remember when mine went through that stage. Only he didn’t have a sibling to tell his jokes to so we had to pretend they were funny. The first time he told a “real” joke (that I don’t think he really understood), I almost peed my pants I laughed so hard from the surprise of it.

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm (2 years ago)

      I think I’d have crashed the car in shock if they’d come out with an actual proper joke

      Reply
  4. Illico Miekka
    November 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm (2 years ago)

    No but seriously, why *did* the chicken cross the road?

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm (2 years ago)

      According to my son, to crash into houses and make holes in the walls.

      Reply
      • Olli Miekka
        November 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm (2 years ago)

        Is just before or just after the egg does it too? Which came first?

        Reply
        • Heather
          November 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm (2 years ago)

          I think I may have to ask him this just to watch his mind explode trying to figure it out

          Reply
  5. Steve
    November 18, 2012 at 7:52 pm (2 years ago)

    I bet your kid’s jokes end up in Michael McIntyre’s next set…

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm (2 years ago)

      Ha. If only, then I could make millions! I just read that he’s expecting to make £20 million from his current tour. I had no idea comedians made so much money.

      Reply
  6. Dara
    November 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm (2 years ago)

    They’re a tough audience, kids are.
    You need to start your set with some silliness. Like: “Why did the whale wear a green hat?”
    Why?
    So he could hide in the grass.

    Or the one Teaghan said the other day:
    Why did the whale want chicken pox?
    Me: Why?
    Teaghan: So he could hide in the raspberry bushes.

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm (2 years ago)

      ha ha ha. i like these. i may try them out. chances are i will get shot down again though.

      Reply
  7. Dan
    November 19, 2012 at 6:12 pm (2 years ago)

    i am a local businessman, i have seen your picture of the sunrise through trees in lapland that you posted in 2010. I really want to use it for the front page of a welcome pack. Would you have any objections to me doing this?

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 20, 2012 at 2:12 pm (2 years ago)

      Local to where, Dan? I would be happy to discuss this with you if you’d like to email me at notefromlapland@gmail.com

      Reply
  8. Iota
    November 20, 2012 at 12:47 pm (2 years ago)

    I remember the first time one of my children told me a joke that was genuinely funny. He must have been about 11, I think (because I remember blogging about it, and not too long after I’d started my blog – funny how I date family life by my blog these days).

    It went like this.

    “A man walked into a bar and said ‘Ouch’”.

    So hold on till your oldest is 11…

    Reply
    • Heather
      November 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm (2 years ago)

      just another 5 years then. Drat.

      Reply
  9. Sarah Lynch
    November 23, 2012 at 4:33 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh so funny and so true!

    I recently bought my children a few joke books. Waste of bloody time… simply stick the words bum hole or pooh on the end of any sentence and they think it’s the funniest joke ever!

    I now save money on books and buy more wine!

    Reply

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