I don’t geddit

kids jokes

Driving to school the kids start telling each other jokes in the back of the car.

Girl: Knock knock.
Boy: Who’s there?
Girl: Stinky pants. Followed by much giggling.
Boy: Stinky pants who? Barely able to get his words out so fierce is his attempt to control his laughter.
Girl: Stinky pants bum bum head
Hysterical laughter ensues.

Boy: Why did the car run into the other car?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cause he wanted to push the car out of the way and bash into all the houses.
Even more hysterical laughter.

Pah, kids these days. They don’t know what a proper joke is, I think to myself.

Me: Knock knock
Girl: Who’s there?
Me: Dr
Girl: Dr who?
Me: How did you know?
Girl: Know what?
Me: That it was Dr Who.
Girl: I didn’t.
Me: But you said Dr Who. That’s the joke see? Dr Who? I implore, getting slightly more desperate with every mention of the Time Lord.

The car fills with deathly silence. I steal myself decide to give it another go.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Girl: Why?
Me: To get to the other side.

Silence. And then…

Girl: No mummy, you don’t geddit’. We’re telling jokes.


19 Comments on I don’t geddit

  1. Midlife Singlemum
    November 17, 2012 at 8:15 pm (3 years ago)

    Knock Knock – it’s a process. You start off like the kids, eventually you develop a great sense of sophisticated humour like us, and round about the age of 60 you slip into Grandpa humour and sound like your dad (cringe). Don’t fight it, it’s genetic.

    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm (3 years ago)

      Sophistimicated oust like us? lord help them!

  2. Mrs Teepot
    November 18, 2012 at 1:13 am (3 years ago)

    Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear!

    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm (3 years ago)

      I know, right?

  3. Gigi
    November 18, 2012 at 4:04 am (3 years ago)

    Oh, I remember when mine went through that stage. Only he didn’t have a sibling to tell his jokes to so we had to pretend they were funny. The first time he told a “real” joke (that I don’t think he really understood), I almost peed my pants I laughed so hard from the surprise of it.

    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm (3 years ago)

      I think I’d have crashed the car in shock if they’d come out with an actual proper joke

  4. Illico Miekka
    November 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm (3 years ago)

    No but seriously, why *did* the chicken cross the road?

    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm (3 years ago)

      According to my son, to crash into houses and make holes in the walls.

      • Olli Miekka
        November 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm (3 years ago)

        Is just before or just after the egg does it too? Which came first?

        • Heather
          November 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm (3 years ago)

          I think I may have to ask him this just to watch his mind explode trying to figure it out

  5. Steve
    November 18, 2012 at 7:52 pm (3 years ago)

    I bet your kid’s jokes end up in Michael McIntyre’s next set…

    • Heather
      November 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm (3 years ago)

      Ha. If only, then I could make millions! I just read that he’s expecting to make £20 million from his current tour. I had no idea comedians made so much money.

  6. Dara
    November 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm (3 years ago)

    They’re a tough audience, kids are.
    You need to start your set with some silliness. Like: “Why did the whale wear a green hat?”
    So he could hide in the grass.

    Or the one Teaghan said the other day:
    Why did the whale want chicken pox?
    Me: Why?
    Teaghan: So he could hide in the raspberry bushes.

    • Heather
      November 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm (3 years ago)

      ha ha ha. i like these. i may try them out. chances are i will get shot down again though.

  7. Dan
    November 19, 2012 at 6:12 pm (3 years ago)

    i am a local businessman, i have seen your picture of the sunrise through trees in lapland that you posted in 2010. I really want to use it for the front page of a welcome pack. Would you have any objections to me doing this?

    • Heather
      November 20, 2012 at 2:12 pm (3 years ago)

      Local to where, Dan? I would be happy to discuss this with you if you’d like to email me at notefromlapland@gmail.com

  8. Iota
    November 20, 2012 at 12:47 pm (3 years ago)

    I remember the first time one of my children told me a joke that was genuinely funny. He must have been about 11, I think (because I remember blogging about it, and not too long after I’d started my blog – funny how I date family life by my blog these days).

    It went like this.

    “A man walked into a bar and said ‘Ouch'”.

    So hold on till your oldest is 11…

    • Heather
      November 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm (3 years ago)

      just another 5 years then. Drat.

  9. Sarah Lynch
    November 23, 2012 at 4:33 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh so funny and so true!

    I recently bought my children a few joke books. Waste of bloody time… simply stick the words bum hole or pooh on the end of any sentence and they think it’s the funniest joke ever!

    I now save money on books and buy more wine!


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