I can’t believe I even went the first time, let alone took the kids. I certainly find it hard to believe we did it again. Twice.
And, bearing in mind that the last time we went we threw away our old tent – so many holes had been eaten in the roof that it was as useful as a colander at keeping us dry, – I seriously can’t believe we are thinking about doing it again.
With two kids.
And a dog.
And a Dan.
I’ve clearly abandoned any small vestige of sanity I’d managed to retain.
But before I will even consider it this year, I have two demands.
1. A proper decent tent. Something like this ought to do it.
2. Dan does all the cooking.
Cause me and that there gas stove do not get on. At all. Seriously, how long does it take just to boil enough water for a brew in a morning? And as for attempting to make an actual meal – pffft, I don’t think it’s even possible. Our camping meals have a horrible tendency to go much more along these lines than anything close to Delia Smith loveliness.
- Chop all ingredients with a butter knife cause you forgot to bring a sharp knife.
- Knock most of ingredients on to muddy grass cause the fold up table you are trying to use is the size of a postage stamp
- Find, pick up and wash all vegetable pieces.
- Repeat steps 1-4 with meat.
- Dig olive oil container out of basket.
- Mop up all the spilled olive oil from the basket and glare at the now empty container.
- Use butter.
- Fry onions.
- Throw burnt onions away
- Repeat 1-4 for onions
- Sod it all to hell and throw everything in the pot at once.
- Leave for 6 hours.
- Despair at how everything can STILL be raw even though it’s been cooking for 6 hours.
- Realise your gas ran out ages ago.
- Throw everything away
- Find car keys
- Wipe olive oil off car keys
- Drive to McDonalds