I don’t do moaning much – well not unless it has a funny story behind it – but today it’s really all I’ve been doing. I’m feeling hard done to and a bit pissed off, if I’m honest.
The rational part of my brain knows that I get a good deal with my kids – we moved to England and I get them for the majority of the year. 42 weeks to be exact. My ex gets them for 10 weeks.
But those 10 weeks, damn it, they are the fun weeks. Summer holidays, Easter and Christmas – the times that memories are made of. The times for fun and families being together and doing things.
And today, having had to pack the kids off to school after seeing them for just 1 day of the school holidays – a day that was pretty much consumed with shoe and clothes buying and locating things ready for school the next day – I’m feeling really sad. It’s not that I begrudge them going away, I really don’t.
I love that they have these two lives, that their dad and Finnish family want to spend so much time with them and that they will grow up knowing two cultures and languages. I love the freedom they get there that I simply can’t give them here and the fact that they will have this whole range of experiences before they even reach their teens. I think it’s wonderful.
I just wish, very selfishly, that they didn’t have to be away for all the holidays. That we could spend some summer time together, go to the beach, visit the zoo, take picnics in the park. I wish they’d be around to get under my feet and drive me nuts. I wish we could have long lazy days of doing nothing, having lie -ins and pajama days.
I know, I know, I shall pull myself together, count my blessings and plan lots of fun weekend activities to make up for it all. I will, tomorrow.
Today I’m just too sad for it all.
Come on school, release my kids so we can go and have some fun. Roll on 3:10pm.